Perhaps it could give me a chance to put
some things into perspective. Chintu was right; Longa was no good for me. I
guess I just needed something drastic to make me see that.
*********************
When I was finally ready to go back to
work, I still felt like shit. My face was bruised, my ego was bruised and I
sure as hell was not ready to see Longa’s face.
I had avoided her phone calls like the
plague. She flooded me with text messages; messages filled with over-elaborate
apologies and pleas for me to call her. She even had the nerve to ask if I was
going to press charges.
Women are a problem.
When I walked into the office, I could feel
the tension in the air. Everybody was stealing glances at me, and I could hear
their hushed whispers.
‘He’s back you guys, i-yeh! Have you seen
his face?!’
‘Youuuu, be quiet! He’ll hear you! Ha, but
he was messed up nicely!’
‘I heard the guy even pushed him in the
road, that’s how the car came and crushed his ribs and his legs. Ati the car
even reversed on him a bit’
‘Me I heard that the husband was the one
driving the car that hit him!’
Sigh, Zambians and their stories.
I tried my best to ignore them by trying to
focus on my work. I promised myself that THIS time, this time I would really
get a hold of my life. No more women, no more Mary-Jane, it would just be work,
work, work.
“Shani, boi. How are you feeling today?”
Chintu said, patting my back, and jolting me from my self-pity.
“So-so, guy. At least I’m alive, right?” I
replied giving back a feigned grin.
Chintu looked at me intently and shook his
head with disappointment.
“I warned you, man. A married woman that
smokes dagga?! That was a recipe for disaster. I’m not going to go on about it
because I think you have learnt your lesson. But what I will tell you, is that
you need to find peace in here-” He hit his chest with alpha-male confidence.
“When there is peace in here, nothing can stop you, my guy. Make peace with
whatever you are holding in there, and you will be surprised at what will
happen.”
“Thanks dude, I appreciate it” I replied.
I knew he was right, but right then, my
wounds were still far too fresh to start getting all inspired.
Work seemed to go on normally. I decided to
mind my own business and everyone went on with their own lives. Of course I
could still hear a few whispers here and there, but nobody had the balls to
come up and talk to me. Chintu would come to my desk and crack a few jokes here
and there to cheer me up. He was a true brother. But of course, the moment I
had been dreading had finally come in the form of a woman I had once dubbed my
Queen.
“Hey, Ishmael” Longa said giving me a
nervous smile.
“Hey” I replied with a sigh.
“It’s good to see you! You look great!” She
said giving me a far too cheerful thumbs-up.
I scoffed and got out of my seat. I was desperate
to get out of this horrible awkward situation.
I could hear her following me with the
clicks of her heels heading towards me in a brisk walk.
“Ishmael! Ishmael, wait! Please! I’m so
sorry about what happ-”
“Look! Longa, I’m not mad at you, okay?
What’s done is done. Let’s just carry on with our lives and keep all of this
professional.” I said, trying my best to calm down. I lit a cigarette and sat
down on a nearby step.
I could feel her staring at me, but I
didn’t look up. I didn’t want to look up. I wanted to do what I always did.
Run away.
“I really am sorry, you know. I never
wanted this to end. What we had…It was so fun! I felt alive again, I felt like
a woman with you.”
I didn’t answer her. I think she took that
as a sign to continue.
“Gerry was worried that it would be all
over Social Media. He said ‘you are a disgrace of a wife. You have embarrassed
both of us. What will my friends think? I can’t believe you could lay with
another man’” She gave out a nasty chuckle and clapped her hands together.
“Can you imagine that fool? Me? A disgrace?
As if he hasn’t been doing the same! Now all of a sudden it’s a problem. Eish,
but men awe shuwa.”
I decided to focus on my cigarette and let
her finish her venting session.
“I think I’m done with him for good this
time. I told him all of the things we would do together. Everything. You should
have seen his face, Ishmael, I was sure he was going to have a heart attack! I
couldn’t believe that he would actually try to kill you, so I wanted him to
feel what I have been feeling all this time. I gave it to him good”
I could tell she was smiling. When she got
excited she would really get enthusiastic about her story. It took me back to
one of our smoke sessions when she had a serious case of the giggles. She had
this ridiculous smile plastered on her face and would look into the horizon,
almost as if she was reminiscing about all of the things she found most amusing
all at once.
And when she would catch me staring at her,
she would blush and break into another fit of giggles.
***
‘I’m sorry! I don’t even know why I’m
laughing’ She would say in-between giggles.
‘It’s that Mary-Jane, baby. Just enjoy the
ride’ I would say. And then I would watch how her eyes would grow heavy-lidded
due to MJ’s enchanting powers. She was under its spell and she loved it.
Just as much as I did.
And then, I would take her.
And she loved it.
***
I stepped on the cigarette bud to snap me
out of my lust filled past memory. I didn’t even realise that Longa was still
going on about her new found ‘girl power’ and how she had finally given Gerry
what he so truly deserved.
I turned to her and grabbed her wrists
which immediately made her shut up.
“Longie, I’m really happy for you. Really,
I am. But right now, at this moment? I really could not give a fuck. Like I
said earlier, I just want to focus on work. If I need something from you, work
related, I will be sure to send you an email or something. But right now, I
can’t deal with this shit. I just want to get on with my life. Tell your
husband not to worry about me anymore. I’ll leave you alone”
It was harsh. But it was the truth. I had
impeached the Queen Longie from her throne.
She looked down to the floor and let out a
long sigh and kissed her teeth.
“You’re right. I’ll always care about you,
Ishmael. You do know that right?” She said flashing me a nervous smile.
Did I really?
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