LOVE BINDS. PART NINE. V: BOMA, SEX AND LIES.

As I lay in that clinic replaying the events from the previous day in my mind, a cloud of regret formed over my head raining down shame on my soul. That is when I made up my mind never to return to Longa.

Maybe I had taken it too far this time, I mean, what the heck was I thinking getting involved with a married woman. I guess my eyes were captured and held prisoner by the beauty on her face which probably stopped them from reminding my brain that they had seen a ring on her finger. This is probably how Adam and Eve felt after eating that forbidden fruit, you know that feeling of “I probably shouldn’t have done that”.

For a moment I laughed to myself about how this would be an interesting story to tell my Grandchildren in the future but then again what Grandfather tells his Grandchildren that he once had an affair with a married woman.

As walked into my house after work that day, I looked around and saw the chaos that resulted from Gerry and I. I sat down on the couch and thought about lighting myself a joint but suddenly, a thought of Bison came into my mind and her saw her disappointed with what my life had become. It was in that moment I began to feel tears roll down my cheeks. I lay down on the couch as I wept and fell asleep. Next thing I heard was my phone vibrate on the coffee table, It was Longa calling. Before I picked up I looked at the time, I was 9:43PM. That woman was persistent.

“Hello?” I said, “Hi Ishmael, how are you?” she asked.

I got up from the couch and sat up straight, took a sigh and answered “To be honest, am not even sure how I am. Just got up”

“Can I come over?” she asked with a tone that sounded like she thought I would say no.

“You never give up, do you?” I asked instead.

“I really need to see you Ishmael, we need to talk.”

“Okay you’ll find me.”  I said.

About an hour later, I heard a vehicle pull up in my front yard. I peeped through the living-room window and saw Longa walking towards the front door, then, a knock on my door. I opened the door and there she was, the forbidden fruit. On that particular evening, she was looking more beautiful than ever.

“Good evening!” she said, with a look that seemed like she wasn’t sure if she had the right to smile at me.

“Please come in.” I said.

“Thank you, I brought you some fruits” she said as she walked in with a fruit basket in her hands. She made her way to the Kitchen and I followed.  She started fixing a fruit salad. There was something familiar about how well she fit into in my life. But did I even love her? I mean we had a deep and unusual connection but did I really love her? Bagging an older woman had always been on my bucket list but settling down with one? Not so much. I had to be honest with myself and my conclusion was that I couldn’t be with Longa but not because of all these excuses I was making up, because I was still in love with Mwila-An.

“Longa, what’s all this?” I asked.

“This is the beginning of our new life together Ishmael.” She answered.

“You’re a married woman, we can’t be together!” I exclaimed.

“Ishmael, I will divorce Ba Gerry, I no longer want to be with that savage of a man. You’re the one that I love”, she said.

“How about your child? Have you thought about him?” I asked.

“We will work something out, he is not mine biologically. Please just tell me you want this”, she said. “I don’t want this!” I exclaimed in anger.

“Why!?” she asked with tears in her eyes.

“Am in love with someone else”, I said calmly.

“What? So you were cheating on me while I was cheating on my husband, you sorry excuse of a man!” She screamed as she charged towards me waving her hands in my face trying to slap me. I held her down and shouted “Let me explain!”

When she controlled her temper, we sat down on the couch and I explained the entire story of Mwila-An and I. She was in tears sobbing by the time I was done. I tried to hold her hand but she moved it from me.

“What did you say her full name is again?” she asked.

“Mwila-An Kapapula.”

Longa stood up after hearing her name and asked, “Do you have pictures of her? Can I see them?”

I thought her behavior was a bit odd but regardless I showed her Mwila-An’s pictures from my phone. As soon as she saw the pictures, she dropped the glass bowl that was in her hand.

“That’s my daughter! She’s dead?” she asked.

“What? What do you mean that’s your daughter? You know Mwila-An?” I asked back.

Longa sat down on the kitchen floor and took a very deep breath.

“When I was 15 years old I got pregnant. I was afraid that my parents would kill me if they found out so I made a plan to make them think I was at Boarding school for nine months when I was actually at a shelter for pregnant teens within the City owned by an old lady from Australia, Miss Allen. I stayed there the whole time and Miss Allen took very good care of me. I told her that I didn’t want the child but I didn’t want to abort so she explained that she knew a couple who couldn’t have children that would be willing to take the child and raise it as their own. When I was 6 months into the pregnancy I started meeting with the couple, Mr. and Mrs.  Kapapula. They were very kind and loving people and I could see how excited they were about having a child. The Kapapulas were there with me when I was in labor and they were the first to hold the baby girl in their arms.  After they took the baby home, I stayed with Miss Allen for a week before going back home to my parents. Life went on but two years later after I finished my High school, I went to found out where the Kapapulas lived and I would watch them from a distance to see how the baby was growing. I did that for another five years. Seeing my little girl growing up healthy started making me think I was now capable of being her mother. I thought of going to get her back but Miss Allen discouraged me and explained to me that I would just complicate things by doing that. Only option for me was to leave town and leave everything behind. That’s how I got a scholarship to CopperBelt University and in my third year there I met Ba Gerry. He offered me an opportunity to start my life afresh by moving with him to Chisamba after we got married. As Karma has it, I couldn’t have children. Ba Gerry cheated on me and had a son, our son. I raise him as mine.”

“Despite being away from my daughter, I always stalked her whenever I was in Lusaka. Wait, now I know why I thought you looked familiar the first time we met. I probably saw you with her once or twice.”

“The feeling is mutual, I’ve also always felt like you are familiar in my subconscious”, I said. “But I can’t believe all this that you are saying to me. Did Mwila know all this?” I asked.

“I don’t know if her parents told her but I regret everything, believe me.” She said.

“I need to get some air, please excuse me” I said as I walked out of the house jumped into my car and sped off. I didn’t know where I was going but I kept going.

I was so confused. I mean what were the odds? How did I end up having an affair with the Biological mother to my deceased love of my life? My life was such a mess.