DAY SEVEN. TEMPTATION.

Temptation

I don’t know the dictionary definition for this word. All I know is that it is a word that makes me think of a red apple with a bite mark in it. Temptation is something you can’t relate to when it befalls another. We are all tempted by different things and we all possess different levels of will power. All I know is that temptation is the one thing that gets mangled deep with your desires and makes filth look like sugar.

That’s why I chose the word today. Partly because I wanted to remind myself of what temptation is and also to remind myself why I must resist it. Everyone gets tempted. Why? Because we are all pleasure seekers. It feels so goooooood to get what we desire. Temptation can disguise a want as a need, too easily. Those shoes that cost the same as your school fees? Sure, you will make the money really quickly and you will pay your fees. You need them, everyone has a Louboutin. Are the practical? Sure, you can wear them everywhere and with everything. Come on, they are perfect, no shoe has ever looked this good. But you can’t really walk in them? Sure but that’s why they are for wearing to sit-down events, who cares about walking when they look so good with your complexion, you just wait until your friends see them. And that is how you end up with a pair of shoes you haven’t worn yet and your school fees still due. That is also how people cheat, never lose weight, screw chickens, steal and how they end up addicted to things they could have never imagined. Not only is the object of your desire sweet, the tempting process is sweet too. There is some thrill, a courting of danger, a romance with adrenaline and the ultimate climax when you get what you wanted.

Sugar leaves me thirsty and weird. I don’t know if I’m the only one it does this too. I crave donuts and then after I just need water to clear my palette of the weirdness. The good part fades and leaves this weirdness. I imagine it is like that for everyone that is tempted by something. Temptation is a flesh concept. It is something we want from our humanity and not from inside. Lemme explain. Deep inside I want to lose five more kilograms. But my body won’t cooperate, it wants nshima and oily chicken and it wants Hungry Lion and then it wants doughnuts from the Lebanese bakery. My body just keeps wanting even if inside I want to work out, eat bran flakes and then a salad, an apple and grilled chicken breast at lunch. I have never been a drug addict or a nympho but I can empathise from that perspective, you want to stay away but your legs just take you for another hit and once there, you can’t resist.

I noticed that temptation happens in the flesh and it sows in the flesh too. After binging, you feel terrible and worth nothing so you go and do some worthless things with yourself. I have never met anyone who binges on their choice desire and then goes to read a book or do charity or listen to uplifting music. Ever seen an addict get high and then go read or go play with babies at an orphanage or even clean their room? Nope neither have I. All the ones I have seen go speed racing or speed dating while listening to music that glorifies their state and they wake up in the morning not knowing what or who just happened to them. Something else I noticed about temptation is that it is different from passion, love and work. Temptation is like lust. They are body concepts. Passion and love put in the work, they have good sense, they don’t hurt anyone, they are respectful of you, your time, your needs and your resources and they are patient. They leave a feeling of satisfaction and more love and passion to pour into other things. I have been waiting on some of the things I love for over a decade. Lust? It wants it NOW, it wants it big and it wants it badly regardless of how or why. After, it leaves the taste of regret, regret is that bitter taste that makes you want to run away from yourself but you can’t so you just sit there feeling trapped with the taste of the morning after at the base of your throat.

This was supposed to be a reminder to me that temptation is rooted in the flesh and whatever is in the flesh will eventually die and destroy everything in its path.