A
word of Yagan origin that translates as the wordless, yet meaningful look
between two people who both desire to initiate something but are both too
scared to initiate themselves.
Only one person in the world still speaks Yagan,
isn’t that amazing and sad all at once. If I was the last Namwanga alive I
don’t know if I would be the right guardian of the language. So this word is on this list because it must
live. It refers to the moment when strangers meet and look each other in the
eye and they think the same thing but neither acts. Such a complex idea but
Yagan found a word for it.
I was once a cynic and I believed that
humans were all physics, science and logic. That was all until I felt the depth
of chemistry. Chemistry with another person isn’t anything you can describe.
Science will say pheromones but if it only comes down to pheromones why don’t
we experience chemistry with everyone. Science then plays it down to
behaviourism and learned patterns of behaviour and attraction. I accept those
but how is it that all those can align at the exact same time and cause this
moment to occur with that just one person. It is those moments that cause me to
believe that there is more to life, to who we are than what we just see with
our eyes. Sometimes we meet these people that we sense and then if neither acts
on the sense it simply goes away. And there others where the moment just
lingers in the air waiting for either one of you to seize it. Then there are
those moments where the chemistry disappears immediately the moment is seized.
It is so weird yet so cool.
When I was younger I had the habit of
seizing these moments and they have resulted in the most amazing friendships,
mind blowing bonds and jarring connections. I’m not going to restrict these
moments to just romance, I have seen this in many aspects. My closest friend of
over 12 years, the day I met her was a regular day but when her and I met eyes,
it was more than regular for me. I was a shy kid with no friends, new to the grade.
I talked to her regardless and now we have a resilient friendship. This story
can be told over and over in different forms for all my friends. The first boy
I ever loved, I will claim it was from eye contact and by sundown he knew he
loved me and now we are great friends, that’s my version of the story and I am
sticking to it. My friend/big sister Jane and I met at arcades years ago; I
really didn’t feel like going to get the fabric but I did anyway and now she is
very important to me.
We live in a world where we are taught to
hold back because rejection is embarrassing, because being the initiator steals
your “power”, because that cute guy might turn out to be gay or to Boko Haram.
But what if it isn’t? What if it turns out to be the most rewarding thing you
have ever done? Don’t wait. Rejection
doesn’t tattoo your forehead but regret torments your heart. I’m not advocating
for acting on every mindless impulse. I’m speaking for good vibes. If something
captures you and you have to initiate, initiate because you never know where it
leads. Even if you don’t hit jack pot, see everything as a learning experience.
I think Mamihlapinatapei comes from your
instincts, telling you that initiating has more benefit than holding back.
Start something today!
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