GREY ANATOMY

I know one atheist. Even that one atheist still shouted, “Mweh Lesa!!” the one time we almost got into an accident. My neighbour is a man obsessed with science but even he says God bless you when someone somebody sneezes. Whether actively or not, everyone in Zambia believes in God. Some are so vehement about saying he doesn’t exist, that their passion in rejecting him is a clear sign that subconsciously, they think he exists. I have never seen some people get as passionate about Big Foot, Aliens or Nyami-nyami as they get about God. Some people just take it easy and acknowledge that there some things that cannot be totally understood and they accept God as one of those things.

Being Zambian forces you to acknowledge deity. For over a jubilee Zambia has enjoyed the control of its own resources and the freedom to do what Zambia pleases. Zambia has two national universities and one university teaching hospital to show for this freedom. Don’t ask me how many shopping complexes, lodges, taverns and brothels Zambia has, I cannot count those and I have no time. Zambia reminds me of my uncle in the village; he doesn’t take his children to the hospital, instead he marries one more wife so that he can make more children in case the ones he has die. From my village uncle’s view point it makes sense that Zambia has more brothels and lodges than hospitals; how else will the people who die be replaced?

The University Teaching Hospital is a massive institution that is well adjusted to operating on the bare minimum. Personnel doesn’t change gloves because of shortages and sometimes water is used instead of methylated spirit. The floors are grimy and have been mopped religiously since the 1960s and the sign front of the elevators that reads “work in progress” has been there since 1997. If UTH is so bad, why do people still go there? Firstly the hospital houses some of the best minds in the land, experts in their field who are both passionate and ingenious. If UTH doctors can’t figure out your problem, nobody can. Your best bet is your local traditional healer who can tell you how your uncle in the village despises your success and has put a hex on you. The second reason people go to UTH is because every other option is too expensive. The health crisis in Zambia has attracted many businessmen who have decided to turn their three bedroomed houses into hospitals. These people’s charges are reckless and their doctors have the audacity to Google your symptoms when you go in for a consultation. That is why I self-medicate or buy internet bundles and Google my own symptoms. Medicine is more than just a science, it is a calling and if someone doesn’t care about my life enough to get a degree in the field, I’d rather take my chances with my own life.

God exists; at least in Zambia he does. He left us battling malaria and gave others Ebola because they can afford it. Zambia has a Cholera outbreak every year in the dry season and in the rain season. Cholera centres are filled with victims and the unlucky ones are buried in black plastics with no funerals. Zambia has enough problems.

My first encounter with the health system was when my father was ill. The doctors in private hospitals hovered over him like vultures, eager to do more tests and keep him admitted for longer so that they could claim more money. The doctors at UTH did what they could but with hundreds of patients just like him, the service wasn’t as efficient as it should have been.

My second encounter with the health system was when I was in it. I woke up early and went to work and laboured tirelessly until my shift was over, I didn’t even look at my Whatsapp for a second in the first two weeks. My work mates on the other hand waltzed in at 10a.m, took two hour lunch breaks, spoke to patients indifferently and sometimes took breaks to eat Hungarian sausage and nap. I was appalled by my work mates at first and then I adjusted. The patients blurred into one person and before long I was waltzing in at 10a.m and yawning when patients talked about how they felt. My rude awakening came in form of a woman. This woman was brought in by her daughter. It was obvious she had been sick for a while, her skin was hanging off her bones and her gaze was empty. She was sitting on her bed naked and her daughter quickly threw a chitenge over her. The chitenge, having no flesh to hold onto fell and settled around her waist, covering her lower body at least. When you are a healthy woman, only your lover sees your breasts, if anyone walks in on you naked, you scream at them and scamper to cover yourself up. The woman had bigger problems than being seen naked. A fly flew past and settled on her nipple and she paid no mind to it. I tried to take a blood sample and she never even winced when the needle pricked her. There wasn’t enough blood in her circulation so I massaged her arm and waited. While waiting I thought of all the things I took for granted. My health is a gift. Because I am healthy I have the choice to dance around while I hold my pee, to pout in my selfies and laugh out loud. I can hide my nakedness because I am healthy. Being healthy is a main part of living life to the full. Illness of any kind is dehumanising. Every day I battle lust, anger, procrastination and laziness and I had not realised that those were my struggles because I am healthy. If I was sick my main battle would be waking up the next day and the next.

My current encounter with the health system is causing me anxiety. My sister is ill. Growing up she was a light. Long haired, fair skinned, dimpled cheeks and nice limbs. Many men liked her but the man who loved her married her. She was temperamental, controlling and efficient; there was nothing she couldn’t do. Seeing her ill has turned her into a shadow of her real self. UTH, private clinics, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men have failed to put her back together again and I am anxious.

Being ill is rubbish. Even if Zambia had decided on more hospitals than brothels there would be some cases that can only be left to God. But Zambia should do better. More national hospitals would mean a more comfortable experience when you are ill, shorter queues, better access to efficient health care for all and a victory in our battle against malaria and cholera.