DAY 4. BEAUTIFULLY BOUND IN TIME.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time…” Ecclesiastes 3:11.

The trendy part of me bought a choker. I last saw them on the Spice Girls when I was in primary school. Victoria Beckham was spicy and Mel B was skinny then. I bought myself a choker out of nostalgia. I never thought I’d live long enough to see old trends come back. King Solomon must have been a trend analyst or at least a fashion connoisseur when he said everything has its time and there’s nothing new under the sun. I still want gladiators though, I want to feel like I’m going to battle some Persians.

Ecclesiastes is a great book for anyone grappling with the loose ends of life. Shops have money back guarantees, refund policies and changing rooms so that you are sure before you make the commitment to buy and own something. You can thrift, hire or trade in. You can get things tailor made, customised and resized. Life has no luxuries of this kind. In some situations once you’re in, you’re in. You can’t trade back on some experiences or some people. Perhaps it is because they are priceless.

Can I tell you a secret? I don’t get bored. But I get curious. I get curious about what my life would be like if I had absolutely no limitations. I really thought about this and realised that sometimes I am the one that holds me back from living a life of no limitations. Another thing I get curious about is my person. I wonder where he is, what he is doing, who’s keeping him busy? I wonder what it will be like to be with someone who moves at the same rhythm as I and has the same fire for life. I’m not looking for a crutch, I’m waiting for my companion. I wonder how much further we will go when we’re together.

It’s easy to settle for what works. In the same vein it’s easy to thrive for what seems the best even if it doesn’t translate as joy. Solomon’s conclusion was that it’s all vanity. We all return to dust. I had a fun time reading Ecclesiastes. The book seemed to unfold a lot things for me, fashion advice, alcohol intake tips and career advice all in one book. It’s amazing to work, to be in love, to travel the world and live a fine life. But we will be held accountable for it all. What do we really want to be remembered for?

When I was sixteen I genuinely believed my purpose was to make life beautiful and to bring out the beauty in everything. I like to find the hidden treasure in people. I realise that this too is vanity. Not even beauty lasts for ever, it is fleeting. But you know it is compulsory. He has made everything beautiful in its time. To me that means everything has the potential to experience beauty.

The word beautiful is neither masculine nor feminine to me. It balances both genders harmoniously. I know some men who are so well sculpted that the best way to describe them is beautiful, not cheap words like hot, sexy or fine. Beautiful. Some people are beautiful because of the spirit they carry within, a well-travelled spirit, a naughty spirit, a glad spirit, an ambitious or a loyal spirit. I fall in love with beauty very easily; all forms of it. Some pieces of music are beautiful. I’m not going to mention names but I am going to describe the feeling. Beautiful is an impressionable feeling. Music can be good but not all music is beautiful. Beautiful music makes you feel alive. It is a time capsule that holds memories, takes you back or holds you down to a particular point in time. Music that is beautiful can empathise, it can uplift or even criticise. I have heard music so beautiful it has made me laugh, brought tears to my eyes and haunted me. I know things that are beautiful because you cannot explain them or duplicate them. For example the sunset, mountains, big bodies of water and even some minds. I know bonds that are beautiful because they are aligned by something beyond us. I am going to be honest here and say that when I look at myself, I don’t see cute, hot and sometimes I don’t even see pretty. I used to see tired, insecure and uncertain. Now I see that sometimes beautiful is there even when all I see are these things. Beautiful isn’t race, weight or personality. It can’t be bought or sold and it doesn’t age. I understood just now that perhaps that is why old people stay in love. Because when they look at each other they don’t see wrinkles and the effects of gravity, they see beautiful. I used to be agnostic because I didn’t understand a lot of things. I rely on my logic for everything, it is a great strength but also a great flaw. There are some beautiful things that logic cannot grasp. I chose faith because I wanted to see and enjoy more of what is beautiful. The transformative power of faith itself is beautiful. Power is beautiful, even more beautiful when it is selfless power. I hope you experience some beauty today.