WHAT NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT GRADUATION

The first ever graduation ceremony I saw was boring and looked like a sweaty, busy affair. I shy away from crowds so the thought of being part of one wasn’t most pleasing. But the joy, the joy on people’s faces is always something else. People are in their best attires, happy about coming this far. I clearly remember going down Great East Road and seeing an old man in his gown, holding his degree, walking down the road alone. I wanted to know his story, I wanted to know why he was alone, why he was walking; I wanted to know what he had done to come that far.

The second graduation ceremony I saw was the happiest I have ever seen. Maybe it’s because I was so so sad. I stood upstairs in a hostel block and looked down at the happy people. There were siblings graduating on the same day. Three of them, brothers and a sister. They were extremely happy, smiling and posing for pictures. It was almost 6a.m. I was standing there and I was so sad. Nobody was asking me why tears were rolling down my face, nobody was asking me why their happiest day was my saddest. Nobody wanted to know my story, nobody wanted to know what I had done to come this far and what journey I was about to embark on. I was wearing a pink beanie, black t-shirt and black jeans. Blue and black canvas were on my feet. Those were the first things I picked up to wear when my mother called me at 5a.m. All I heard was wailing and I knew she was wailing because my father had died. I don’t know why I wore the pink beanie but it felt appropriate at the time. It was graduation day and yet I was so sad.

The third graduation ceremony I saw was Nyambe’s. I was proud. Pride. That’s the feeling it gave me. It was amazing to see someone grow up and to become a great man. He was standing there in his gown as a different person that he had been when I saw him in high school. His four years had matured him. He had come so far yet his journey towards greatness had only begun. That was his story. I was so proud of his story.

The fourth graduation ceremony is coming and low and behold I am graduating. I never thought it would happen honestly. I knew I was finishing but I had this absent minded approach to getting my degree, it was almost like I didn’t care. Now that it is done I can honestly say that wasted potential and procrastination are thieving. I wish I tried harder, even if I got the same results I would have felt some pride and ownership of my results.

When you start out in first year nobody tells you about graduation. You see the pictures, the gowns and the smiles but you don’t really know what to expect. Nobody tells you it’s a journey and every day contributes to how you feel on that day. Everything gets tangled up and has an effect on your graduation; nobody tells you that.

No matter what your results are you are going to feel proud; proud that you worked or that you’re lucky. You’re still going to be happy in that moment whether or not you have a job waiting for you after or you’re going back to the seas of unemployment. You’re going to be proud whether it took you ten years or it took you a blink of an eye to finish your education. Why? Because you finished. You’re now qualified at something and possess a mix of knowledge that is more than common sense.

Nobody tells you that the plans you make in first year go away like mist. Nobody tells you that the people you made the plans with might not be there anymore. Some people have more courses and they stay behind. Others die. Others fail or drop out. There is nothing as sobering as knowing that everyone has their own paths in life.

I went into university with a clique of friends, aspirations, two parents and baby fat. I lost. I lost. I lost my innocent view of the world. I lost some ignorance. It was the hard way that I learned that 1+1 sometimes is equals to nothing. I lost aspiration and replaced it with drive and focus. It took two weeks to lose my father to cancer. I finally got to know who I am and what I am capable of. I lost and found myself many times. Nobody prepares you for all the loss. Loss of hopes and dreams, loss of dignity when there has been too much tequila and even loss of virginities. People lose all kinds of things and it’s up to you to choose how to recover from the loss because it is not every time that you can win.

Graduation day is celebrated because people actually face how far you have come. When I bought the gown and held it I almost shed a thug tear. I wasn’t moved because of the hideous green fabric in my lap. I was moved because I couldn’t believe it. The same girl who lost her incisors in one week and had a huge gap in her smile through second grade now had a degree. The same child who pronounced the ‘g’ in religious now had the knowledge required to begin and manage a successful project. The same kid who felt like getting to high school was a dream now had a degree. Graduation isn’t a celebration of what you have done, it is a celebration of what you can do. It is a call to action. It is a recognition of your potential and what good you can do if you just applied yourself. It is a challenge to do better and become the best.

I am grateful for my opportunity to learn, especially in an era where girl child education is spoken about but not actually prioritised in the lives of people. People chose marriage over education because it is natural. Having children and nurturing them and being a wife for life is a natural inclination. Now imagine if you did something unnatural and became really good at it. That’s what an education is, a chance to be more than who you are biologically.

Graduation is an amazing journey. Savour it, learn from it and allow it to make your heart smile. Oh and congratulations! You are officially one degree hotter!