DONT DO IT

Don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t love themselves. You will hear these words but your eyes will convince you otherwise. I mean how, why not? Isn’t that what love is for? Your eyes will meet hers; her eyes will be shiny and eager to please. Your very same eyes will see the long legs and soft butt and you will tell your brain to stop thinking; if she doesn’t love herself, you will love her until she learns to love herself.

“School has never really been my thing.”  She tells you. That will be her first confession. She will tell you about how she dreams of running an empire and driving a fast car that matches her deadly ambition. She wants her money fast and the numbers to double and triple. Her ambition is attractive, your brain wonders how she will get all the things she wants when hard work isn’t really her thing but again you silence your brain. A girl this beautiful always has a plan.

“I used to cut myself when I was young.” That’s her second confession, your heart goes out to her. She is only a girl and we all get lost sometimes. Perhaps if she had been loved she would have never cut herself, perhaps if you loved her harder she would no longer feel the need to self-destruct.

Misery loves company. Not loving herself makes her want to make other not love themselves. She hurls insults and calls you an underachiever. When the mood hits her she goes out with other people and drunk calls you when they leave her. You tell yourself you won’t go but you go anyway. Who will pick her up if you don’t?

Don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t love themselves. They don’t know how to love. They take a rejection of their ideas as a rejection of who they are. They can’t differentiate their world from themselves. They are a slave to trends, a slave to ideas and a slave to approval even if gaining approval meant rejecting themselves. They have no desire to live for themselves and so you will live for them. Eventually like a candle burning on both ends you will burn out because you can’t live for both of you.

Don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t love themselves. They have no personal definition of beauty, happiness, or standards. Everything is a competition and the only thing that makes them sleep at night is feeling better than someone. They don’t know empathy, contentment or selflessness. Self-loathing is a strange emotion, it is self-centred, it eats her up and she invests so much in it but never fulfils her.

Don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t love themselves. Because they aren’t loyal to themselves they can’t be loyal to you. They will cheat, lie and destroy all the good in you just for the satisfaction of seeing things burn. Loyalty and goodness are feelings we savour within, they are good feelings that illuminate the inside and people are loyal not because people are watching but because it makes them feel good inside. Because they love themselves enough not to graffiti the walls of their hearts with bad energy. Someone who doesn’t love themselves doesn’t care what goes into their heart and soul. Their hearts are vandalised by lies, betrayal and the filth they have let in. Someone who doesn’t love themselves will hurt you and not be bothered because they are not right within.